The Blame Games

The winter Olympics are very aesthetically satisfying to watch. I know none of the subtleties of most of the sports, but I find them extremely physically pleasing to watch. Especially speed skating. I have no idea what makes a speed skater great at passing or sprinting, but I find it damn pleasant to watch them go. Even Bob Costas is satisfying to look at. I would trust that guy with my life.

The athletes, though, I tend to hate. I've never heard pro athletes whine and blame and make excuses this often. And the thing that really pisses me off is the constant insistence by 4th place or lower finishers that they don't care about the medals. That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. Of course you care about the medals. You care immensely about the medals. Who the hell do you think you're fooling? Imagine if Tiger Woods came in fifth in the Masters and afterwards explained to the press that he was there because of his passion for the sport, not to win, and that he was very pleased with his fifth place finish. That's what Bode Miller said, after being hyped and self-hyped as the best skier in the world. What if after being up 6-0 in the tie-breaker of the fifth set of the Wimbledon finals, Roger Federer double faulted in 4 consecutive serves to lose 8-6 and went on to claim that he was just thrilled to have made the finals. That's what Lindsay Jacobellis did (cute as she may be). And then Johnny Weir, the prima of all donnas, blamed the f'ing busride and arrival time for his choke.

I just ranted about a skier, a female snowboarder, and a male figure skater. This is what happens when baseball and football are out of season at the same time.


Meghan said...

i too love speed skating. you and i may be the only ones.

porridge said...

How do the ski jumpers get themselves to go off the ski jump for the first time? Do you start only ten feet up the ramp and then jump five feet over the edge (which would itself be terrifying)?

Further with regard to ski jumping: Every twenty years or so, a college student (who may have had a beverage in advance) rides a cafeteria tray off the college ski jump in the dark which, while very amusing for everyone else, is invariably fatal for the "jumper". Does this not, however, suggest combining the luge and the ski jump competition? This cannot be considered more ridiculous than curling. Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Two things:

1. You would trust Bob Costas with your life? You'd put your life in the hands of a man who dyes his hair so horribly?

2. There are no final set tiebreakers at Wimbledon. Play continues until someone wins by two games. (Another reason why Wimbledon kicks the US Open's ass.)

Tim Urban said...

I knew one of the grand slams didn't have a tie breaker, but I didn't know which one, and I took the gamble. And it bit me in the ass.

Anonymous said...

oh, tim, i'm a huge fan of johnny weir and people take that comment too seriously. he didn't mean "i would have won except the busride" he was just surprised he messed up, but when nerves get to you it's hard to say why, especially when you've been practicing hard, so he assumed that missing the bus may have thrown him off. he probably shouldn't have said this comment, but people take it much too seriously. of course, weir is the ultimate prima donna, and that's why he's so fun! he's also the only artistic male skater out there.