The Top 7 Foods

I love good restaurants as much as the next guy. Almost nothing beats a perfect steak, or a phenomenal piece of sushi, or a juicy rack of lamb, or a great pasta dish. I said "almost," because there are 7 things-- all pretty cheap and low quality in fact-- that are more delicious than anything you'll find on a menu in a fine restaurant. The following are the best single bites of food a human can experience:

-4+ Sour Patch Kids at once
-a spoonful of Annie's Macaroni and Cheese (white cheddar)
-a buffalo wing bite
-a McDonalds chicken nugget with sweet sauce
-"that" nacho (you know which one I'm talking about)
-a bite of a really hot, melty chocolate chip cookie, right out of the oven
-a single pepperoni

The last one refers to a very specific situation. When the pizza arrives-- which, by the way, is by far the hungriest I ever am. There's not even a close second. This is consistently a moment of pure happiness for me. I am, without fail, voraciously starving when the pizza delivery guy gets there. Anyway, the pizza arrives, and everyone suddenly acts all primitive and runs over and quickly scans the pizza for the best slice left, and in the frenzy a pepperoni always falls off and stays in the box. I'm the guy who picks it up and eats it (the only other person who does this as consistently as I do is my sister Jordan, who usually eats the first whole slice in one bite to ensure the first pick of the second round). Pepperonis in general do not fall into the sacred group above. But that pepperoni-- at that moment-- makes the list.