Cricket Chirpings

I must say, a cricket infestation can provide some irony.

I would be uncomfortable with almost any insect infestation, since insects are terrifying, but at the moment the building in which I work has become home to a family of local crickets—which is just weird.

Right now it's late—about 10pm—and I'm the only person in the building. I wouldn't normally be so aware of my solitude—except the sound of chirping crickets is making me feel like I'm in the middle of the Siberian wilderness with no one around for hundreds of miles. Crickets are the only bugs that come with an ambiance.

And since these effing bugs are actually putting me in a reflective mood, it seems like a fitting time for some Tuesday night items:

-After a prolonged period of time during which Winston was at a friend’s house (a larger tortoise named Nate), he and I reunited over the weekend. In celebration, I took Winston to the beach on Sunday so we could enjoy the sun together. We found a little park area and I placed him on the ground while I peered out upon the ocean. Winston, as he tends to, moseyed away. Within a few minutes, a crowd of tourists had gathered around Winston and had begun taking photos. I had no idea his freezedancing video had made him so famous, but here was proof—Winston was a genuine celebrity. The crowd seemed to think that Winston was a wild tortoise, and even discussed “putting him back in the ocean” (where he would drown) before I walked over and explained that Winston was not a wild tortoise but, rather, my life partner. Eventually, the crowd dissipated, and once again I turned my attention elsewhere. And again, Winston moseyed his own way. Within a couple minutes, I turned to see the little A-lister surrounded by a new crowd of photo-happy tourists and paparazzi. This cycle went on for quite some time. By the time we left the beach, Winston's ego was swelling.

-I can’t believe that “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side” has had the run that it has. It might be the most famous joke of all time. The guy who came up with it is definitely like, “Wait, really?” It would be like “Mary Had a Little Lamb” being the most famous song of all time. Oh wait…

-I think I enjoy the act of typing. It hit me the other day when I needed to type a paragraph from a sheet of paper into a document in my computer, and I realized while doing so that I was having fun.

-I like the NBA playoffs. And unlike the baseball or football playoffs, I can enjoy them casually. One of the announcers on one of the games I was watching made a reference to the famous Michael Jordan “flu game,” when Jordan put up a monster performance while sick. Which made me think of Michael Jordan being ill—which is just kind of weird and funny. Isn’t it kind of weird to picture Michael Jordan sipping hot tea in bed or putting a thermometer in his mouth or throwing up? Other people I find amusement in picturing sick and throwing up:
  • Ghandi
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Queen Elizabeth
-Speaking of whom, I was on Gmail the other day and was reading an email that mentioned Queen Elizabeth, which led Gmail to target advertise to me by posting a story about the 10 “hottest” royal people in the world (hottest meaning the most written about, internet searched, etc.), which led me to click on the ad out of curiosity, which led me to learn of the existence of Princess Charlotte of Monaco, which led me to search for more pictures of her on Google images, which left me deeply upset that I couldn’t immediately wed her for eternity.

-This pirate story fascinates me. Not the hijacking or the American hostage who was saved—I’m completely riveted by the fact that they got an actual pirate in custody and he’s in the States now on trial. And maybe I should hate him since he’s a criminal who held an American hostage—but I just don’t. He’s a 15-year-old Somali pirate. Could anyone be more interesting? What I really want is 60 Minutes to do a whole piece on this guy and interview him with a translator about his entire life and what the life of a Somali pirate is like. Actually, I want more—I want an E! True Hollywood Story on this guy. I want to know everything. I want him to write an autobiography (which would obviously be called Yaarr, Me Somali Sea Crimes).

-This site is incredibly fun and addictive. Start with the “popular” ones on the right side of the front page, and after your time runs out on each one, click on “most missed” to see how you compare against everyone else who did it. Hours of my life.



Love the world said...

The video you posted is absolutely incredible,love it.Thanks,Tim.When I was in college I had a little tortoise in my dormroom named "Lele"(means happy,she had indeed brought so much fun to my life),but as I leaft college for my summer break,I was so stupid to leave it alone in the dorm and 2 months later when I back,she'd already died,which makes me so heartbroken and for a quite long time I forced myself not to cast a glance on another tortoises,becasue it would make me feel so upset.So always make sure your cute tortoise is ok,because animals just like human being need constant caring.

Anonymous said...

We are not amused , firstly around
here we refer to her as Charlotte
the harlet.Ghandi , is his image on
currency and stamps worldwide? And
the pirate Schwarzenegger??Really.

Winston America's next top tortoise
yes that will do.

The Queen helmed. The Queen's idea.

The Queen of the British empire ...

w4gw4gewg34w said...

Hey Tim, should I go to Harvard?

Renata said...

Tim, do you know Tom Jobim, that brazilian musician?
You should listen to his song "Wave". I think you´ll like it!

Anonymous said...

Had to come back and say ... DAMN IT TIM ... that sporacle site is very addicting. I'm curious - please post some of your scores. How many countries did you name the first time out of 195 ??? I got 105 and missed some super easy ones. Had no clue on the rest of them. Begs the question of How Many Countries Have You Been In ??? I've got less than a handful of states and I can check off the US - who the heck goes to Rhode Island, New Hampshire, and South Dakota. Some great categories and trivia questions on the site. Are there any other sites like that ???

Anonymous said...

(What you wrote sounds too much like a Hindi swear word)

Unknown said...

Oh no........ That's a turtle. Turtles are marine animals (or maybe amphibians? They lay eggs in beaches) and can swim and would not drown. Tortoises are land animals. There's sometimes that weird mix, where it's not at either end of the land-water spectrum, and definitely an amphibian.