Thoughts on Giddiness

When I was five there were a bunch of events and places to visit that made me giddy. The list includes:

-Disneyworld
-an amusement park
-a waterpark
-watching any professional sports game
-seeing anyone sing or play music
-snow
-a ski mountain
-an arcade
-a movie theater
-a candy store
-most toys
-anything involving dinosaurs or space
-McDonalds
-my father's office
-the science museum
-a swimming pool
-any visit with extended family
-receiving a present of any kind except clothing
-piƱatas
-snow days
-trampolines
-a sleepover with a friend
-Thanksgiving
-my birthday
-Halloween
-Fridays
-the day before a school break
-the last day of school

Part of the reason this list is so long is that at five I was an unbelievable simpleton. Another reason is that I had only been conscious for a couple years, so most of this was pretty new. Finally, all these things were extremely rare. Even something like McDonalds, which probably happened once a month, seemed rare, since a month was about a quarter of my life at the time.

By ten, the list of events and places that made me giddy with excitement had shrunk to:

-Disneyworld
-an amusement park
-a waterpark
-attending an important professional sports game
-attending any concert
-a ski mountain
-an arcade
-snow days
-trampolines
-a sleepover with a friend
-my birthday
-Halloween
-the day before a school break
-the last day of school

By 13, it had shrunk further:

-an amusement park
-a waterpark
-attending an important professional sports game
-attending any concert
-snow days
-trampolines
-the last day of school
-the first weekend of March Madness (new)
-any form of pornography (new)
-any situation involving a girl of any kind (new)

By 18:

-attending an important professional sports game
-seeing my favorite bands in concert
-the first weekend of March Madness
-playing poker (new)
-getting into college (new)
-really liking a girl (new)
-anything involving sex (new)

By 21:

-attending a crucially important professional sports game
-seeing my favorite bands in concert
-the first weekend of March Madness
-playing poker in a casino
-really liking a girl
-travelling, especially to a new country (new)
-Las Vegas (new)

Now, at 24:

-attending a crucially important professional sports game
-the first weekend of March Madness
-meeting a girl who is not a d-bag
-travelling, especially to a new country
-composing something I'm happy with/hearing an orchestra perform something I wrote (new)

Yes, things are looking pretty bleak. I haven't seen a concert in over a year, and I got sick of poker. Vegas, just years ago a staple of my remaining giddy experiences list, has temporarily been ejected from the list because of my current proximity to the city. I've been there about eight times in the last two years, and as I noticed when I arrived there this past Saturday, the giddiness has worn off.

Assuming that a wife and kids will at some point occur, I'll conclude that from this point forward, unless I'm missing something, the list will be limited to:

-the wife and kids, if it's the right wife and the kids aren't losers
-reunions with old friends
-select moments during my career, if I end up in a career I enjoy
-travelling
-big sporting events
-Las Vegas, if I live on the East Coast

I'm not talking about happiness-- that occurs all the time, to different degrees. I'm referring to the joyous, wondrous excitement of a child. I'll basically need a wedding or a childbirth or a massive career success to feel how I did at five when someone handed me a candy cane.

This was supposed to be an entry about my weekend in Las Vegas. Somehow this is where we ended up.

6 comments:

matt said...

Judging from your chronology there was about a six month interval when both you and tim were giddy at the prospect of a sleepover. Yes, it never gets old...

Anonymous said...

Actually, I think it was an entry about your weekend in Las Vegas. [tilt head, raise eyebrow in surprisingly serious thought]

Anonymous said...

your problem is you have become jaded by life. who still doesn't get giddy with the simple pleasures in life? getting candy is still a highly giddy experience

Tim Urban said...

Not really. Candy makes me happy, just not giddy. Except nerds rope.

Nerds rope makes me giddy.

Anonymous said...

sour skittles make me happy, how is sex not on your list anymore?

Anonymous said...

nerds rop is unbelievable!