1) Kids that bang on the piano while I'm playing.
And yes, I'm very proud of that piano drawing.
2) My iPhone deciding to start playing random songs at random times. In the old days, the thing that sucked was when you'd open a website and it would automatically start playing a loud video and embarrass you in public:
But this thing my iPhone occasionally does presents far more horrifying situations. Not only is the speaker really loud when the headphones aren't plugged in, but there's no way to quickly silence iPhone music—it takes a few steps. To compound things, I often have it on shuffle, and it inevitably selects a mortifying song to play:
The above is based on a true story.
4) My inability to sit Indian style. I recently visited my sister, who lives in Boulder. She and her friends are all super "outdoorsy." And there's nothing outdoorsy people hate more than comfort. Indeed, for outdoorsy people, the more physically uncomfortable, the better:
So naturally, when the night's activity was watching The Big Lebowski on a huge outdoor screen, my group didn't consider bringing chairs, deciding a thin blanket would suffice. Which works out fine for people who can sit Indian style.
5) Girls who need to be in a full embrace during sleep. Cuddling is all well and good, but when it's actually time to sleep, there need to be limits.
6) Dick babies.
Let's start by depicting a normal, reasonable baby:
Baby made it look easy, right? And yet, the all-too-common dick baby:
7) Bugs. There are two different ways I react to bugs:
8) Ridiculously loud motorcycles.
9) Watching a movie I really love with someone who has never seen it before.