Rather than me lighten up, you eat shit

I briefly dated a girl last year from Northern California who was extremely "chill." She was laid back. She took it easy. She went with the flow. She kept it real.

I hated her.

Every time I would act vaguely excited or animated about anything, she would put her hands on my shoulders and say "relaxxxx...take a deep breath." This is infuriating.

People who take pride in being "chill" are dreadful. They're the type of people who you can't get in an intelligent discussion with because inevitably, as soon as you talk too loud or too fast, they'll chuckle in a cool, calm way and tell you to chill out. They hate getting competitive because it messes with their whole relaxed vibe. They're the people that always said, "Whoa, we're not in class anymore" anytime their friends were discussing something academic out of school.

Anyway, the nail was drilled into the coffin when we watched an episode of The Family Guy together-- a good litmus test for a girl's "keeper" status by the way-- and not only did she not think it was funny, but during the funniest, most absurd part, she went, "ooooookayyyyy..." Every muscle in my body tensed up at that moment and that was the last time I ever saw her.

There is, however, a decent chance that she reads this blog. If so, this is ridiculously awkward.

3 comments:

Cheddar Ted said...

You've done it again turban!

vbspurs said...

By the looks of it, you may or may not like my recent blogpost, where I reference this post of yours, about The Family Guy.

Scroll down past "Updated Malarkey".

Cheers,
Victoria

Anonymous said...

anybody who doesnt like family guy is cold-hearted and has no soul