Coach Potato

I thoroughly enjoy reading on airplanes. As someone who always pledges to start reading more but never does, plane rides are one of the few things I've always reserved especially for reading.

Fuck it.

I flew Jet Blue for the first time this weekend on a round trip to Boston (to watch my 16-year-old sister slut it up in a play and to attend my annual fantasy football banquet, sporting none other than my newly purchased baby blue suit. Everything in this parenthesis is embarrassing. I need to get the hell out of here and back to the normal paragraph). On the flight today, which lasted 6 and a half hours, I watched some combination of:

Sportscenter (every word about the Patriots is excruciating to hear), Around the Horn, PTI, two tennis matches (including Venus Williams being upset), two college basketball games (including a monumental choke by some unfortunate Kansas player), the replay of this year's Sugar Bowl, the absolutely phenomenal MTV show where a girl evaluates guys based on their rooms, a show about celebrities divorcing while the woman's pregnant (Charlie Sheen's a dick), 3 minutes of "The Runway", a food network special on chile and another on Campbell's soup and another on meatloaf, a history channel biography of Abe Lincoln, South Park, Seinfeld, Bill Cosby standup, the news, Hardball, the O'Reilly Factor (I hate O'Reilly), the Golden Globes (God George Clooney is dreamy), the Poker World Series replay, Full House (Danny was mad at Uncle Jesse but then the 3-year-old interrupted them and said something cute and Danny realized he was wrong and apologized), a National Geographic special on crash test dummies and another on the Loch Ness Monster (that zany fuck), an Animal Planet special on a guy being arrested for neglecting emaciated dogs, and a Discovery Channel special on lumberjacks (the chainsaw being invented was huge).

I was crushed when we hit the runway.

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