Wednesday Night

I was just sitting here about to write a blog post and suddenly I was like, "Wait, what the hell am I doing?"

Not in a negative or upsetting way, just in a "Wait, what's going on?" kind of way.

Because what the hell is this blog? Writing in this blog is just something I...do. I just kind of sit down and I'm like, "I'm going to write in this blog now," and then I do it.

But why?

What am I writing, and to whom? You? Who the hell are you? And why are you reading this? Are you procrastinating? Do I know you? Am I procrastinating?

What the hell is going on.

So now I'm still here, and writing in this blog, but I'm suddenly kind of shocked about it.

Let's break this down a little further. Here's what's actually happening:

I'm sitting here in my office. In Santa Monica. Alone.

All day today, this office was a lively place. My old friend and business partner, Andrew, sits across the room from me. Our two employees, Amani and Ashley, work in the office next to ours. The four of us run Launch Education, a tutoring company that Andrew and I own. We work on things. Big things and little things. And we talk, and we procrastinate, and we eat, and sometimes one of us goes outside and paces around the parking lot while talking on the phone.

There are a bunch of other small businesses that work in the same building and there's a constant buzz up and down the hallway.

Now, though, it's 10:50pm and I'm the only person in the building. It's silent here, other than the sound of me typing. I often stay late and work on stuff-- company stuff, writing projects, getting through my inbox. I try to get home with a few hours to spare so I can sit at the piano and work on music stuff, but sometimes if I'm being productive I stay here to ride that wave.

So here I am.

There's an electric tea kettle on the desk in front of me. I bought it three years ago for $24 and still maintain it was the best $24 I've ever spent. I just boiled some water and then decided which tea bag to put in-- black, green, white, or red. Red is my least favorite, but it was closest to me and I haven't had red in awhile. I picked up the can-- Goji Raspberry Green Tea. I noted that what the hell are goji berries and that the word raspberries still has the "p" in it. Screw it, I thought, and I put a tea bag into the cup. Immediately regretting my decision, I peered in and it was clear I could not turn back-- the bag was already a bit wet from the remnants of the previous cup of tea. So I went ahead and poured the water and started sipping at it. It's not bad. But it is still my least favorite of the four options.

All around on the walls are things I like-- maps, timelines, whiteboards. In each case, when we initially put them up they made me very happy. Like almost all happiness, though, it starts out inflated and then deflates down to your default happiness level. So now it's been awhile and I'm very used to all of these things so they no longer provide a boost of happiness above my default level, but I like them nonetheless.

There is a container of cookies on the desk in front of me. Ashley baked the cookies for me and Andrew and brought them in. I had about five of them today, which was too many.

There's a bulletin board on the wall with about 40 business cards tacked to it. Our network of contacts. I'm quite immersed in this thing it seems.

To my left is an assortment of toys that make me happy (though no longer higher than my default level)-- a plastic whale, a hacky sack, a slinky, some silly putty that is too soft now, and a little soft foam red chair with Bank of America's logo on it.

I'm wearing an untucked button down shirt and jeans and I'm barefoot. My feet are freezing. My feet are the primary motivation behind this particular cup of tea.

A girl I know is going to call me soon. This pending call is delaying my decision to leave the office.

And it was in this environment that I decided to sit down and write a blog post.

Which led me to try to figure out what the hell I was doing. So let's continue this investigation.

So the idea is, I think of something I want to get off my chest. Something that has been subconsciously on my mind for days, perhaps for years, and that I want to tell you.

So I dig into my mind for all of the dormant thoughts and opinions that fit into the category of this particular topic and I start writing. Well, not writing exactly-- there's no pen or pencil and no paper. I start thinking and my fingers start moving really quickly. They start dancing around on the keyboard while I watch my exact thoughts appear on the screen of this device in front of me.

(This particular device made me very happy for a few days after purchasing it and this happiness, too, deflated back to the default. You can tell how deep a specific happiness goes by how long it takes before it fails to lift you above your default level. Only the deepest of happiness has the power to alter your default level itself. This happens, but not very often.)

Anyway, technology allows my dancing fingers to transmit my thoughts onto this screen. Eventually, I finish my set of thoughts and I click "Publish Post."

This is when things get even weirder.

So the thing I had to get off my chest-- that thought now exits my device and travels through the air, thousands of feet above the ground (possibly hundreds of miles-- I'm not sure) into another device, which then directs it to another device somewhere on the surface of the Earth, where it hangs out.

This is where you come in.

Then you go over to your device-- maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe next month-- and your fingers dance around on your keyboard and you order the device where my thoughts are hanging out to send you my thoughts. So it sends a copy of my thoughts through wires and air and into your device where you use your eyes to transmit the thoughts from the screen to your mind.

Then you go and do something else.

And that's really that.

And frankly, the whole thing is a little weird. Bad? Not at all. Just a little odd.

But then, a lot of things are pretty odd.

And the call has come. Plus my feet are freezing. So I'm going to leave it at that.

I'm going to click "Publish Post," and I'll have done my part.