Thoughts on Memorial Day

I'm very pleased with the outcome of American Idol. David Cook's pretty rad. And this serves as proof that I wasn't just jealous last year. You see, last year I was like, "I hate Blake Lewis," and some girl I was watching with, I forget who, was like, "You're just jealous." And I was like, "No I'm not." And if that were the case, I'd be equally jealous and hateful of David Cook. But I'm not at all. Because he's not a d-bag like Blake Lewis.

Last night I read an article which mentioned something Ann Coulter had said, which prompted me to find the YouTube clip of it, which in turn prompted me to watch a dozen Ann Coulter clips, which in turn made me want to inflict physical harm upon her. It's not even her viewpoints. I disagree with most of what she says, but not all-- and I can certainly count on her to articulate the things I dislike about the Democratic Party. It's more that her whole shtick-- being as smug and infuriating as possible-- makes me want to inflict physical harm upon her. If she were a man she would be irrelevant on any national stage, being so extreme and vitriolic. But being an "attractive" blond woman, she has a continual national spotlight and all of her books become best-sellers. It makes me furious. She should be irrelevant.

Winston's freezedancing has catapulted him into stardom. His YouTube clip has reached millions* as it has soared across the internet. "It's been a crazy week," he said yesterday. "I'm just trying to soak it all in and enjoy the ride. And I want to thank all the fans out there. Without you, none of this would have been possible." (*Actual viewers: 81)

I saw Iron Man this weekend. It was pretty rad. The first half was an A and the second half was a B. The special effects were satisfying and delicious.

Speaking of movies, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, and Ben Stiller all used to make good movies, and now they all make bad movies.

Phil Hughes: 22 IP, 0-4, 13 K, 13 BB, 9.00 ERA, 2.136 WHIP
Ian Kennedy: 34 IP, 0-3, 25 K, 23 BB, 7.27 ERA, 1.788 WHIP

Bill Clinton is the real loser in all of this. People who love Obama want him to go the hell away. People who just want any Democrat to win want Hillary to drop out, so they want him to go away too. Republicans never liked him and like him even less these days. The only people whose cause is aligned with his are Hillary supporters, and a lot of people who like Hillary hate him for all of his womanizing scandals anyway. For someone who was on his way to going down in history in a very revered and positive light, he has really brought himself and his reputation right down to earth with his annoying presence in this election.

I got my car washed on Wednesday, for the first time in a long time. Then it rained on Thursday, also for the first time in a long time. Great.

I spent part of the weekend in San Diego, and obviously paid a visit to the zoo. The zoo might be my favorite place in the world. Thoughts:

• Hippos are incredibly bizarre. They're like huge water pigs. Seriously, what the hell is a hippo?
• When I see flamingos, I have the burning desire to swipe their standing leg from under them with a golf club.
• I could watch monkeys forever. We watched a family of gorillas for like a half hour-- they're exactly like a family of people hanging out. I desperately want to own a one-foot tall chimp, dress him in overalls, and take him everywhere with me.
• I hung out with adult Winstons who were like 110 years old. They were incredibly big and old and awesome.
• Tigers are delicious.

I have about 60 T-shirts and I hate like 58 of them.

There's a new iPhone coming out on June 7th. It's going to be better than my iPhone. I'm incredibly upset about this.

For someone who is an extremely intense Red Sox and Patriots fan, it has been pleasant rooting for the Celtics as a casual, bandwagon fan. Sure, I'm pretty immersed in it by now, but my heart is just not at stake the way it is when the other two teams are in the playoffs.