Tennis

Tennis grand-slams are hit or miss for me. During some tournaments I'll find myself skimming an occasional headline and maybe watching some of the finals. Others I'll follow closely from the start, Tivo matches when I can't watch, and become acquainted with the major storylines involved. I'm either indifferent or obsessed, and that's it. Sometimes I'll be drawn in by an article about the tournament, or a particular player, before it begins. Other times I'll be flipping through the channels and end up watching a match, remember how much I like watching tennis, and I'm hooked.*

The whole Agassi thing did it this time. I decided to watch his second round match after reading about the first round. It was a phenomenal match, and now I'm obsessed with the whole tournament. Thoughts so far:

• Normally, I quickly get sick of emotional, drawn-out retirements. But I'm pretty into Agassi's little round head during all of this. It's fun because he's got nothing left, but he's got tons of heart, and the crowd's been freaking his opponents out. Plus, he kind of looks like Elijah Wood in Lord of the Rings.

• I hate Andy Roddick. He's my Yankees in all of this. Normally, sports stars are a different species, from a different world, and I don't get very personal about it. I hate A-Rod and Peyton Manning, but I hate them like superstars. It's different with Roddick-- he's too close to home. He doesn't seem like a superstar, he just seems like some dick I know. So why the hell would I root for some dick I know.

• I don't want to be attracted to Martina Hingis. I didn't plan on being attracted to Martina Hingis. But it happened, and there's nothing I can do about it.

• During the Agassi-Becker match they flashed to the end of the Safin match. The way the guy who lost to Safin lost (an automatic winner that he botched in the 5th-set tie-breaker), and his subsequent reaction (hitting a tennis ball 4,000 feet) was one of the funniest things I've witnessed.
  

• Basically every one of these guys has an absurdly hot girlfriend in the stands. If these guys can land those girls, why the hell do Major League baseball players have ugly, trashy girlfriends? Every type of pro athlete can get a hot girlfriend except baseball players. It's weird.
  

Finally, I'll mention that today was the big day:

Marc Bulger
Cadillac Williams
Kevin Jones
Torry Holt
Lee Evans
Todd Heap
Jay Feely
Tampa Bay DST
(Mike Bell)
(Fred Taylor)
(Ben Roethlisberger)
(Kevin Curtis)
(Keenan McCardell)
(Verron Haynes)

*Everything in this paragraph applies to golf majors as well.