It's been some time, I know. That's because it's been a bizarre week. At some point in the future, I'll elaborate further. For now, I'll recap a thing or two from the past week:
Away from my TiVo for the week, on Monday I found myself frantically flipping in a rotation between the Clippers-Suns game, The Apprentice, 24, and David Blaine floating in a sphere. I found myself completely captivated by Blaine's mission to break the world record of staying underwater for 8 minutes 58 seconds. He failed, only staying under for 7 minutes 8 seconds, and when he finished he was twitching violently. It appeared unpleasant. The main thing I took out of this was that my personal record of 2 minutes 10 seconds isn't as amazing as I thought it was.
That said, I thoroughly enjoy magicians, and appreciate Blaine for the genius that he is. Since I can't figure out how to put a video on this post, I'll let Raphael Pungin do the honors. First, go to the May 10 post and check out the "Pulling Teeth and Putting Them Back" clip.
This is keeping me up at night. And Pungin's cynicism regarding the girl's tongue is absurd. Her tongue clearly goes through the hole between her teeth. Next, watch the "Tying Shoelaces Without Hands" clip.
Again, what the fuck.
Finally, go to the "Guessing the card using Caller ID/Shattering the card" clip.
What the fuck. There is no possible explanation for this. We just have to accept that Blaine actually has magic powers. In fact, I don't ever want to hear anyone claim that he doesn't have magic powers. End of discussion.
Another highlight of my week occurred on Friday night. At a fancy bar with a couple friends, I noticed about 7 massive black men standing around together. It was the Phoenix Suns. They had beaten the Clippers in Game 3 just hours earlier, and they looked pleased with themselves. Then my friend Eve pointed at a small, bizarre-looking white man with long hair, who was standing among the players. "Who's that?" It was a good question. He looked like he had snuck over for an autograph. I explained that he was the League MVP, to which she replied that he looked like he had Down Syndrome. Another solid point.
Anyway the three of us stood nearby and stared for awhile, most notably at the smoking hot girls that crowded around the players. I only wish I could make "smoking" even more slanted-- these girls were ridiculous. From there things went downhill, as the conversation turned to how life-altering Eve thought it would be to hook up with one of those guys.
And now it's Sunday night. The Suns are headed back to Phoenix, Blain's done twitching, and I'm sitting here in the same jeans I was forced to wear at the gym today because I forgot to bring shorts with me, but because the sweat dried I can live on with the illusion that I'm wearing clean jeans, which is good because I only own one pair of jeans, and I wear them everyday, and in my new apartment the washer and dryer are in the basement instead of in the apartment so it's much more of an ordeal to wash my clothes. One day soon, it'll happen. Just not tonight, or tomorrow.