Frankly

If peeing in the shower is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Man's Best Friend

Sometimes, when I'm bored, I'll taunt the dog in the apartment across from me. He starts barking like crazy and I quickly turn away. The owners look over to see what he's barking at, and see me minding my own business and tell the dog to shut up. Then when they look away I taunt the dog again, who again loses his shit and they look again and again I'm going about my business in my apartment. They usually apologize to me and then put the dog in the bedroom.